just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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