Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
