That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just cropdusted the office
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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