I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
