Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it because I queefed?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
