Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Watching her eat just hurts me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
