I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
