Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
