I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize