i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
