My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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