I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
