So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
