I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
