I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
