how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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