try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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