And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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