She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
