do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
