Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
