matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
