69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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