i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
