If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize