When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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