he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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