how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
