It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
