life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
