it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
