like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
