Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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