I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
