I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
