I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
