When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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