Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize