i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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