Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
