pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
