Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
