it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
