they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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