Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize