I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
