Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
