Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
