Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize