Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
