Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
