I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
