So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
