come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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