I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
