Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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