3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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