There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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