Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
