u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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