So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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