it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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