I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he thought i was a dude.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
