I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
