please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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